Something Smells Rotten

Gallons of ink have been spilled by video poker gaming gurus who claimed that serious players could actually make money from full-pay video poker machines. They had us believing that casinos were so generous and charitable that they’d kindly put these machines right out in plain view so that the smart player could easily turn a profit and help fund their retirement. There was only one problem: Corporations kept building more and more casinos, with nary a bankruptcy in the bunch. Some casinos even allowed these gaming gurus to hold special conferences with their guests to teach them how to beat the machines and the casinos.
Does that strike anyone else as odd?
While some cry grand conspiracy, methinks there are other reasons why the casinos haven’t gone broke with their video poker machines.
• Perfect strategy is tough. To get your house edge so low on video poker, you have to play computer perfect. Sure, 95 percent of your play is pretty intuitive, but the other 5 percent starts to get a little tougher, with some minor nuances much harder to remember than basic blackjack strategy. Though the one or two mistakes you make may cost you only a few cents, they add up over time.
• Players like to play. When a guru hits a royal flush jackpot, he doesn’t quit for the day and celebrate; he just keeps on playing. His followers naturally don’t quit when they’re ahead either, so they go through some pretty severe swings, sometimes where they win a bunch when they hit a royal, usually giving it all back before deciding to call it a day. But hey, they earned the free buffet that puts them theoretically in the black.
• Casinos are getting smarter. Now that everyone has heard that video poker can be beaten, the casinos are changing the payouts on the machines. Nothing major, just a few coins here and there to raise the house edge.
• Playing video poker is work. Most people play slots so they don’t have to think. The strategy for video poker is so complicated that most devotees need to carry computer printouts detailing each and every move; most of the tourists you’ll find in casinos are just looking to have a good time.